Shared by her son Robert

March of 2025 was supposed to be an exciting time for me. I was looking forward to receiving the Irvine Valley College Classified Staff Award of Excellence, for fighting hunger on campus, and after 30 years of working there I was getting ready to retire but these five words changed my world forever, “You know mom is sick.” These words shattered me and tore at my heart and spirit.

It was antibiotics that triggered the decline of my 92-year-old old mother’s life. My mother was a strong, vibrant, active woman, who still cooked at least three times a week for her husband and kids, washed clothes, grocery shopped, and swept the backyard. She prepared holiday dinners, loved to water her plants, enjoyed movies and her Christian music as well as old artists like Donna Summers and the Whispers. 

She wasn’t a woman who was in and out of the hospital due to bad health or continued checkups.

You see it was C. diff, caused by prescribed antibiotics, that finally took her life in the end.

It was hard on my family and me watching her be so helpless and seeing her suffer as her condition deteriorated. I had to wear gowns and gloves when visiting her to avoid spreading C. diff. She must have felt isolated and alone, no human touch was allowed, only vinyl gloves as if it were the start of Covid all over again. My heart broke every time I had to suit up and see her with so many needles in her arm, holding on to a vomit bag because the condition gave her continued nausea, bad headaches and pain from a swollen colon.

The very woman I made sure I spent time with and planned to spend more time with after I retired was sick, but I didn’t know how serious it was until I spent days and hours with her in the hospital alternating shifts with my father from 9am – 9am. My father loved my mother so much he wouldn’t leave her side or take a break. My mother would have to force him to go eat because she worried about him.

My mother went through so much pain and tests after the antibiotics. She lost blood and received blood transfusions. She had nurses continually trying to find veins on her hand, hurting her sometimes, bruising her hands, just trying to find a vein. The callous, apathetic bedside manner of the surgeons didn’t help her morale. Weeks of these trials took a toll on my 92-year-old mother but through it all she retained her sense of humor, smiling when a new baby was born….

Her Son, David

For as far back as I can remember my mom was always a hard worker and a family-oriented person. She enjoyed spending time with the family and dancing with everyone during our family reunions. Just before all this happened, I was taking a video of her standing there cooking on a Saturday for Sunday’s dinner. She’d always cook the day before. I would go over and try to spend time with her and do what little I could cause she would do all this on her own. She would tell me “No mi’jo, I got it,” but I would try to help anyway. She cooked, cleaned, watered her plants, she’d walk back and forth carrying loads of laundry from the washer in the house to the dryer outside in the garage.

 Just before she got sick, she had planned on doing eye surgery, but she also needed to get a minor procedure done. So, she decided to do the minor procedure first. This procedure was the beginning of my mother’s decline because of the antibiotics that was prescribed to her after it made her sick. It gave my mother loose stools, and her gut was always bothering her. When I was sitting with her, she told me she was gonna stop taking the antibiotics and talk to her doctor. So, I went home and the next thing I heard she was at the hospital cause the antibiotics gave her C. diff. The antibiotic she took is what killed her. It should’ve been banned a long time ago. She was 92 but she did things and was healthy as an 80-year-old, or a late 70s person. She should’ve never had to go through this nor the rest of the family.

Her Son, Dewey

 It’s hard to write about my mom and put it in a few words.  She was the glue that held the family together.  She was always laughing, doing for family even when she didn’t feel well. Even though all her kids are adults and moved out, mom made sure we had enough to make it. Maybe a few dollars, definitely a lot of food mixed with love.

 She was always staying busy; cooking, cleaning, shopping, and picking fruit from the garden. At the age 92 she probably was more active than most people half her age. You would have had to know her to know how active she was and how much love she gave. She still had her driver’s license and a very sharp mind. Always giving her love to family or friends and however she could help she would help. Even the day she came home from hospital on her death bed. I remember that us kids and some grandkids were there, and she told my dad in a very weak voice and a body that couldn’t move as before because of the C. diff, she told him “Buy some pizza for everyone, I’m sure they are all hungry.” That’s the kind of person she was. Always thinking of others.

Before mom got really sick, she called me about the prescription of antibiotics she was taking because the same professional gave me that same prescription on Jan 10, 2025. She told me that it was making her go to the bathroom a lot and having stomach problems and that she was going to stop taking the prescription and go see her personal Dr. By the time she went she was already very sick. My mom has never been as sick as she was after taking the antibiotics. She became so sick that she had to go to the ER and they kept her there at the hospital. When she was released, she felt a little better. Then the stomach aches, and loose stool started again so her personal Dr. was called and said take her to the hospital. She was there approximately 3 weeks and then went home to be with Jesus.

 After mom got sick from taking the antibiotics she never fully recovered. A few days were good and then she went downhill and died on April 14th, 2025. Had she never taken the antibiotics she would be alive to this date.

 Now going to visit my dad, sitting in the house with mom not being there, hurts very badly. All of this has caused great heartache, frustration, tears, and questions of why? Maybe if she had died of natural causes, it wouldn’t feel as bad, but to know that she died because of C. diff caused by a prescription given to her, which could have been prevented, is hard to accept.

Her Daughter-In-Law, Francis Flournoy

She was strong, caring, loving, giving, considerate, compassionate, and smart person. Always putting others before herself. If she sees a need, sometimes I think she looked for it, she did all she could to help. When our kids were little and she saw them with worn out shoes or clothes, there was a bag with those things in them the next time you came over. I was always amazed that the clothes/shoes always fit perfectly.

She always loved to cook since I can remember. Often fed us all and sent us home with food as well. She cooked up until she became ill after the dentist procedure, (which ultimately caused her death in my opinion). The meal she was preparing to cook before she got sick was enchiladas. While I was caring for her on her first return home from the hospital, she asked me to put the corn tortillas in the freezer until she is able to make the meal. She was still thinking of others instead of herself.

She had a way of offering opinions, suggestions and wisdom, without intruding in our personal beliefs or ways of thinking. She gave you something to think about. She knew the bible very well and also history and politics. She was like an encyclopedia. I will miss her stories. She had a better memory than me.

You had to be careful not to say that you liked something of hers because no matter how much she liked it, she would give it to you… “Take it” she would say.  Or if something was mentioned, again, it would be in a bag the next time you came over.

She often made me laugh with the things she would say or do. When we would be in the kitchen, she called me her dishwasher. She would give those pots and pans a good work out. Then we would struggle to fit all the food in the refrigerator. When it was time to go home, we and others that were visiting, would all have a plate to take home.

Before she got sick she was still strong, cooking, laughing, speaking wisdom to us. At times, she would break out in a dance. I never thought that she would soon be taken away from us. I thought she would overcome this one like all the rest. But God saw fit to take her home. She belonged to Him first. He loves her more than anyone can and her time on earth was done. Mom said at the end, she was ready to go be with Jesus. This is what I always think about when I am missing her so much.

 I will miss her encouraging words. She even said I was a good nurse, after I forgot when it was time to give her her medicine. She rang the bell yelling it’s time for my medicine! …lol.  I was busy dusting her table and lost track of time. I said oh no… I am a terrible nurse, she said, ‘No you’re not!”

 Rest in peace momma, see you soon. I’ll love you always.   

Her Granddaughter, Aisha Ruiz

My grandmother Dolores was a grandmother that any grandchild would have loved to have. She was so welcoming. She never let anyone go hungry, never go in need, selfless, gave words of wisdom, and kept you in prayer. And she had the cutest laugh. She would even let me bring my little Chihuahua and let her run around the yard, so I didn’t have to leave her at home by herself. I felt comfortable talking to Grandma about anything. I didn’t feel judged by her. And I always knew I was going to get a wise answer from her.

She was a very strong woman always going, driving around to knock out errands, very smart, and very wise. You’d always catch Grandma cooking, cleaning, washing laundry, ironing with the heaviest duty ironing board you’ve ever seen, in the kitchen while she would watch TV. She would always be cooking and would prefer to use her hands instead of a spoon or fork to like flip the corn or rotate the ham hock, and I would ask her “Grandma doesn’t that burn your hands!”

When I had my firstborn, I had to have an emergency C-section. After being in labor for 36 hours I was told that a C-section had to be done and so I called Grandma from my hospital bed to tell her and seek her guidance. My parents were with me too and I asked my dad to dial Grandma and so I can talk to her about it. In the past, Grandma told me that she had C-sections, so I already knew that she had experience with it. And she said “Well mi’ja if that’s what’s best for the baby then you have to do it.” And so, I said okay and signed the dotted line to have the C-section.

My Grandmother got sick and went to the hospital. When she was discharged from the first hospital, she was a bit weak from being in bed for several days, but she went home and was doing good for a week and then was back to being hospitalized again. I was so happy because it looked like she was getting better, eating better, walking better, able to sit up and then she got sick again. That whole time though Grandma was very smart, keen and knew what she was talking about and saying.

After going back into the hospital, she eventually was sent home on hospice; sick in bed barely talking barely moving now and she still made sure that everyone was fed. She even had me take pizza home to my husband and I said “Grandma it’s okay, I’ll leave the food here for anybody who’s hungry” but she insisted that I take him some pizza, so I did. The perfect example of Grandma being selfless and always making sure that nobody goes hungry. 

I can’t believe that Grandma died from C. diff which was caused by antibiotics that she should have never been given. Visiting Grandpa without Grandma there is still a shock and surreal. It feels like Grandma is out running an errand, and she’ll be back, but she never comes back. I don’t understand how something like this could happen to such a wonderful person. It’s not fair. No one ever said life is supposed to be fair, but it really isn’t. What did Grandma ever do to anyone to deserve it? 

From Her Loving Husband

She was a good wife and must give God all the praise. God was the one that kept us together for 45 years. In a marriage there are a lot of sacrifices we must make. For the love we had for each other and both being saved we were always able to sit down and reason together and work it out.

God is able, so put your faith and trust in him. My wife is now with the Lord.

 Amen.

Robert Flournoy

Writing this feels like I’m saying goodbye to my mother all over again, but it must be told. How does a woman who had always been so strong end up being so weak? Why was my mother in this predicament? It’s because she trusted the one who gave her the procedure to look out for her and not give her an antibiotic which according to reports is not recommended to be used anymore. All she wanted in her deteriorated state was to go home to see Jesus and her two sons, parents, and best friend of fifty years who died of Covid.

 Last thing I said to my mother the night before she passed as she laid in the bed as her life slipped away was to whisper in her ear, “Where he is you will be….” – John 14:3

 My mother went home to heaven April 14th, 2025 around 5:30 am